Wintermelon

2009-11-08T23:29:00.001-08:00

Two more papers and i am free
Damn bored
it has been 2 weeks plus
but the feeling for her still holds in my heart
it is just hard to forget.
Learning guitar now
fingers hurts badly
but still will persever
Blog skin is dead.
Got to change a new 1 soon.
Will change after i get chance.
Bye people
Good luck for chinese and also science MCQ.
Jiayou.

Thinking back,my actions were all wrong,now all i want is just a second chance.
I really still love u.

2009-11-04T23:24:00.000-08:00

Only wanted 1 relationship that last long.
Listened to Leona.Trying to hold on to the relationship
After all if we are able to endure throught we will be stronger
But we ended up breaking up
Really don like things to be this way
Really tried to change myself for u
But u still wouldn't accept me
Should have listened to peiying
Girls doesn't like guys that give up easily
Maybe i was too opened up
Really learned my lesson.
Tried to maintain the friendship with u
Tried to joke with u but u seems so mad.
Nothing i do will please u now isn't it?
And yea i call those that linked me to de-link me
Like that nobody knows of my blog and at least a place where i can vent my fustration and also sorrow
Also a place where i can post my happy moments,which is rare.
U have no worries that what i said where will be known to the world
Totally screwed my physics paper and geo
Really am dead.
Trying my best not to screw my Bio paper.
So that at least got that as a subject to get into engineering.
Really am exhausted.
But still am carrying on
Sorry that i will be going to break the promise i had for u
I am unable to ace my O levels
I lack of the time to do so.
Chatted with my OB Sabah instructor.
Reminded of the times in OBS
Damn it was torturing.
But manged to pull it all through,
Then i rememberedd the camp that i attended.
It really trained me.
Just that i am not reminded of it.
Now i do.
At least i will not give up on my life
After so many things that been through.
Using all as an experience.
Maybe i will stay the way i am
Being Emo
At least that is what suits me the most.
Trying to change.But its hard.I thought i have ur support but acutally not.
Fell badly to the ground.
Trying to pick myself up,.
It is hard,but i will try.
All my wishes now that hope we can still be friends,at least good friends
And i get into engineering.

2009-11-02T00:42:00.000-08:00

Today was SS and chem
Thought venice will come out.But it didn't
lucky i had bonding and globalisation to back me up
Finished Chem within 15mins
Use the rest of the time to look through check for mistake
and i spell sulphate and sulphute.WTF!!!!!
damn hoping i will at least get B3 for all my subjects.
ENglish was still a screwed up

2009-11-01T01:20:00.000-07:00

I still misses u badly.
Really can't accept the fact u are gone.
Every night i dreamt of u.
The times we spent together.
The times we enjoyed.
I really hate that things turned out this way
I realised i really need u
It was hard to give u back the muscial note& straw heart
i lose it once and i really ran 3 bus stop just to search for it.
Now its gone.
The memories still in my heart.
I blew up the chance.
Now we can't even be friends
I really don wan it to be this way
I don't know how u are feeling but.
Really hope things will turn out fine.
U are afterall my first relationship that i got into
It is hard or i should say imposssible to forget.
It really hurts me deep inside.
I really want this pain to end.

2009-10-28T05:14:00.000-07:00

Yea i am fucking dumb and stupid.
SO?
U think u are so fcuking great?
I promised ms phang not to get angry or stuffs
i been trying to contain my fustration since i broke up with her
U think is so fucking easy?
Yea u are smart and i am fcuking stupid
U are the great guy
I post those and hurt people feelings?
I apologise about it already
what do u still fucking want?!
After i broke up with her i tried to get back into the clique.
It was so damn fcuking hard.and u have to make it worst.
While i was waiting for glenn.U guys came down
Then u said u waiting here for what
Of course i am waiting for glenn la.
U sounded as if i am not in the clique.
Since u want me out.
SO BE IT!

2009-10-26T05:57:00.000-07:00

English was screwed badly.
Don know what to do.
I see my next year life.
I see myself in the classroom in BMSS
listening to teacher.
doing my work,
Damn! No way that will happen!
Going to chiong for the rest of my subjects!!!
Life isn't easy.
But i will pull it through.
and yes i have changed.
I am a callous and heartless guy
I opened my heart but it got pierce badly.
Its bleeding hard but nth i could do to stop it.
Going in exams with an heavy heart,
But still i got to make it through,someway or somehow.
Really am tired.But i will still fight on.
Things ain't as what they are.
But still.
I still love you

2009-10-23T18:20:00.000-07:00

"Time To Say Goodbye"
I just don't want to waste another day
I'm trying to make things right
But you shove it in my face
And all those things you've done to me I can't erase
And I can't keep this inside
It's time to say goodbye
On the first day that I met you
I should have known to walk away
I should have told you you were crazy
And disappear without a trace
But instead I stood there waiting
Hoping you would come around
But you always found a way to let me down
It's time to say goodbye
After all the things I've done for you
You never tried to do the same
It's like you always play the victim
And I'm the one you always blame
When you need someone to save you
When you think you're going to drown
You just grab your arms around me and pull me down
It's time to say goodbye
Now I'm gone
It's too late
You can't fix
Your mistakes
I was trying to save you from you
So you scream
So you cryI can see
Through your lies
You're just trying to change me
Somewhere in the distance
There's a place for me to go
I don't want you to hate me
But I think you need to know
You're weighing on my shoulders
And I'm sick of feeling down
So I guess it's time for me to say goodbye

Sometimes i really wonder the why am i trying so hard yet the result seems so depressing
I really love her but now i am really at a loss of what to do.
My life now seems so aimless.
I'm really trying very hard.
But i guess all my actions are mistakes.

2009-10-20T02:41:00.001-07:00

O levels in 2 more days and i am shitty dead for it
Physics.everyone seems to know their stuffs except for me
Keep asking help from mrs chang but then again others as well
so i am neglecting my physics now.
No point for be working so hard yet still i get the same shitty results
Went to school today.
Didn't had the mood for anything
but just took out my maths and do and do
saw her just now.
it was hard ignoring her
it was just hard
But i can't do anything
i really wanted to approach her
didn't had the courage
Really hate this situation
O levels
crucial and vulnerable period of my life
No mood for anything.
things comes and go
Things happens and forgotten.
Thanks ariel for always being there and chatting with me
Thanks Leona jie for always cheering me up and trying to make me smile and talk me through life
Thanks Yong leng for giving me advice on almost everything:D

2009-10-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

O levels are in 5 days time.i have yet to prepare anything
will i succeed in acing it?
Or will i retain?
i am really trying my best to study hard
But if it is not enough.
i have no words to say
I don know why u are ignoring me
i really want to know the reason why.
Just hope that everything will be over after O levels
Such a cruical period time of my life.
but i am about to lose control of my life
I am really dead

No matter what happens.i promise i will always be there for u if it within my means
U had already been part of my life.
U are already someone i has no wish to lost.

2009-09-30T04:21:00.000-07:00

Heart breaks.
What is life?
What is the point of living?
What is the point of studying,since all are relunctant?
Trying hard to study for the sake of my teachers now
Trying hard to get out of this school
Trying very hard to control my anger
In my heart,all i want is u to be by my side
I guess that is hard.
Going to learn to be dependent on myself
I hate late replies of smses without reasons
Going to make myself disappear.
Going to make myself study
Going to get my perfect scores.
Feeling so hurt
Feeling so sad
Feeling so depress
Feeling so heart broken.
I fcuking swear that all i wan is u to be by my side.
I let god decide for this
To see if u really will be by my side when i entering the crisis
To see if u really love me
To see if i really can make it out of this school with good scores into engineering

2009-09-23T07:48:00.001-07:00

Prelims are over!!!
Now is for the result
then the o levels...
time to study very very hard...
i know my results will be damn damn bad...
but no choice
i still ahve to study...
so i will rarely come to blog le...
just have to bottle up my fustration to myself then
Went to lan to play Left 4 dead
it was fun:D

Anyways...
Despite being so mad and fustrated.
I STILL HAVE TO CONTROL!
I Love You baby<3

2009-09-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

After a good night sleep
felt really better
guess i was too exhausted
Really think-ed alot last time
after so much thoughts
decided to let nature takes it course
Really realised i had learned a lot
in a relationship
u must give a lot
and except very little in return
u must be thick skinned
u mustn't be so sensitive
u mustn't get jealous easily
After so much.
i realised that i really love her
i really can't do without her
I promise i will change.
I will be a better guy

2009-09-19T09:37:00.001-07:00

Things has worsen
When to library to study.
it was raining.
didn't bothered,just walked in the rain
studied for few hours,
went back home to rot and emo
too tired for anything anymore
Got scolding for no reason again
just because of my sister
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS CLEVER?!
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS MUCH BETTER?!
WHY DO I GET ALL THE F**KING SCOLDINGS BUT NOT HER
HAPPENED SINCE YOUNG TILL NOW!
DAMN F***ING PISSED OFF

didn't went out with her
Wanted to date her out
but she went out with her good friend
i admit,i am quite jealous,since i didn't knew who was that guy
but i can't do anything as well
she has her freedom.i can't do anything much
chatted with her just now on msn
she left even before i could finish what i wan to say
reallly....don know what to say
For the very fact that i need u to be by my side
i need u badly
but,what can i say.
u wan me focus on o levels
u wan me focus on studies
but i just CAN'T
I CAN'T!
u said words that really hurt me
i really wan to make it out to be a badminton player
but u said how am i suppose to make it when i lose to calvin
u were right
i lose to him
but i also have my reason in losing
Badminton was like the best thing in my life
Losing to him already cause much agony
But u said those words
really hurts me even more
Really F***ing hate myself
why am i so weak?!
Althought had no friends.no family to be there for me
to be give the support
All i could was to depend on u
i really don know why
when u said those words
i was already very pissed off
but i just kept it to myself
i told myself to really control.
Really controlled
Sometimes the words u used and said to me really hurt my feelings
But i don dare to tell u for the very fact i fear that ur feelings really get hurts
i don want to be like ur Ex.
i really wan u to be happy
But i have no more place to vent my anger and sorrow on.
Everybody has their own problems
I guess now i only can depend on my blog to vent my furstation
really hopes things will be over soon
i don wan to dwell on this and affect my o levels
too afraid to fail
Really hope things will go well again between me and u.
Really missed the first two weeks of
that i spent with u..
i missed those times
I fear history would repeat itself
I have nightmares every single day
Really don wan to to lose u like what happened to My Ex-lover
i really don wish to lose u
i really love u deep in my heart
I guess the problem lies in me bah
I haven't been a very good boyfriend
Never really understand how u feel
i am sorry
Hope u will be back to me
U were the one that pull me out of the misery
i really love u with my life and the bottom of my heart vows for it

Thanks vasnavi for cheering me up
Thanks evelyn for cheering me up
Thanks ariel for being there for me when i am so down and bored
I guess i just need some time to cool down bah
Till here...bye
Only can be contacted through moble phone
Only will attend to serious matter

Really hope the situation will be turned around
Really hope things will change
U had already become a part of me

2009-09-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

Prelims have yet to end.
Been struggling these few days
i am sorry ms prema
i didn't know to do chem:'(
Believe a not, today is the last day i will be online
i really want to ace my o levels
is a promise i made for her
and i don break promises

Jiaxin-no matter what happens,i love u with everything i had
i promised that i will ace my o levels for you and i will fulfuil it
i don know will u still be there after my o levels but still,
i love u more then i ever did to the girls of the past
Just hope u would stay,Just hope u would still be there
But is still ur decision.
Whatever happens,i will still love u with my life
Hope u will catch me when i fall
Hope u will hold my tight in ur arms when i need the support
You are the first girl that really taught me a lot of things
I also don't have any words to describe the feelings i had now
The words u said pierce through my heart,but i know is for my own good
i admitted i was quite jealous when he msged u
that is also because i fear losing u
i don wish history to repeat itself,like what happened to her
really don wan to lose u
But still...I don know what to say either.
The only thing i can say is
I L<3ve You
Gloria mei-sorry little girl,wasn't be there for u
korkor have to study
so u better behave while i am gone
or i will punish u when i am back:P
Freddy-I will not break the promise that i made for ms phang, u and Jiaxin
i promise i will control my anger
i will never forget that.
Cartoon(vasinavi)-Thanks for always being there for me
thanks for cheering me up
Thanks for ur support
I will study hard and win ur "goood Arsehole friend":D
U too must study hard!
Evelyn sis-Thanks for jioing me out to study.
Leona Jie-i promise i will do my best for o levels!

This would be the last time i will be online.
Going to study for O levels
Going back to being emo
Take care people
Study hard

2009-09-01T04:01:00.000-07:00

Happy 1st month dear<3
thanks for memories that we have together
always be loving u
promise i will ace my o levels
sorry i can't offer u anything at this point of time
but i promise after my o levels,
everything will be different
Love ya<3

2009-08-29T21:01:00.000-07:00

tmr is the badminton interhouse.
really wan to win this
really wan to get first
really wan to get the medal for her.
guess i would have to try my best
i promise i would at least get the second place for you
but i will try my best to get champion for u

2009-08-23T05:24:00.000-07:00

i love you with all my heart
won't be coming online till o levels finishes
i am going to focus totally on studying

2009-08-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

O level are in 2 months time
damn i really feeling the stress..
reallly don wan to fail...
hmm
tution ytd was fine
everything seem perfectly fine
She is all that i have.
i love her with everything i got
will be blasting my music the whole day.
time to emo

2009-08-19T07:46:00.000-07:00

HEY SO WHAT IF I AM STUPID OR DUMB.
just because u score higher?
just because ur maths are stronger?
and what? i show off my medal?
is teacher request for it what
like that also show off
what the hell is wrong with u sia
think u very big shot arr
GET LOST MENZ!

got a b3 for chinese..
all thanks to zhan lao shi
her effort on me was paid off
a student that always fail chinese ,
now scoring b3 in chinese o level;
xie xie ni lao shi
failed my dpa.
they give a lot of excuse sia
ridiculous sia...haix
opted out for class collage.
since they also never invovle me in anything stuffs
why the point of me to stay
over a small matter u wan to make it so big
its ok that u stole my friends from me
its alrighte
at least i am not so lowly and low class as compared to u

2009-08-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Everyday seems so tired to me
study study study study
tired...
hmm...had english oral in the afternoon
i don even know what the examiners are asking
damn just anyhow talk cock
damn tired...
glad that she is in my life.
she changes everything
2 weeks from now on still counting:D<3

2009-07-31T18:07:00.000-07:00

Today is a Great day:D
school was ok.
damn sleepy so i just stare at teacher
trying to do my work
had a math common test
i know i will fail for sure
i slept,but ms phang wake me up and scolded me
then was waiting for time to fly,
can't wait to meet her
met up with her after her band:D
went for lunch with her:D
then she fed me:D
she held my hands:D
i was stunned at the moment but mange to hold her hands also
then we went to tiong park slack
she tried to chase me
but she can't(i am way too fast for her)
then when back home to take the paperwork for my uncle
she waited at the void deck of my house
so i went home changed and grab the paperwork and rush down
i went to the back of her and scare her
she was scared-ed
then we went to holland village
then instead we went to the playground near there
there is a cat there
we played with the cat:D
then went to meet my uncle.
after which i had dinner with her:D
waited 30 mins with her for the bus:D
i enjoyed every moment when i was with her:d
she makes me feel so free and feel so in love:D

2009-07-28T02:52:00.000-07:00

met up with my uncle just now
he wanted me to help him take from my dad's IC and some title deed or smth
then he asked if i had my dinner and wanted to give me money.
i rejected him cause didn't bear to take it.
hahas
he is the only relative from my father side that treats me he nicest
when he was staying with him, he always buy drinks for me when i was downstairs playing badminton
so i told myself the moment i make it big, he will be one of those that i will be grateful to

2009-07-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

Tears rolled out of my eyes along my cheek as i'm been haunted by the past memories and the fact that i have lose so many people around me.
First i lose my mummy(X** ***). now i no longer talk to her.we are as if strangers
then i lose my friends around because of that bastard
then now i lost gloria because another fcuker.
i gues my looks can't compared to him and i have a fcuking attiude problem unlike him,
a nice guy and kind
i don know what to do now
so many people close to me are gone
i fcuking hate being treated as a subsitube
i am not 1 subsitube to be treated for both friends and people close to me
i try to be nice and i am taken for granted
i love F so much
but what i get is nothing while i try to be there for her
the stuffs i done is not much as compare to what he does for u i guess
really am tired
miss lim made a card for me
i thought that is the only source of motivation
but i fcuking lost the card
i am fcuking stupid and clusmy and dumb
i fcuking hate myself
i guess now i stand alone and walk along while tears roll down my cheeks

2009-07-22T08:00:00.001-07:00

i don know why i am so dumb!!!
i lose the card that miss lim gave it to me
it is so preious... now is gone...why i am i so dumb!!!
i hate myself for being so clumsy!!!

2009-07-19T07:53:00.001-07:00

u made me lose all hope
u made me give up on everything
then now u said i want u to vanish
what a way to twist things around
i fcuking tired...really don know what i should do
things around changed
changed so much
too tired to carry on

2009-07-16T04:03:00.001-07:00

i guess i am been forgotten
i am out of ur life
ur jinlong kor was right
i will leave u
but do i have a choice?
while i am gone, i just hope that there will still be someone there for
u can go find ur jinlong kor and ur ZS
i am tired and exhasted being ur subsitube.
i really am tired and stress out from all these work around
but do u know?
do u understand?
i am not u so i have no idea as well
really am tired...
i really do
i guess i have no chioce bah
u might blame me for not talking to u
u might blame me for not bothering about u
but i am busy with work
i am fcuking stress and tense up
i am lots of work to do
but i also can't say anything
i was once someone close to u
but now i feel that i am just something that u have used already and been putting up on to the shelf and collect dust
i am really tired...
if u wan u blame me for all these that happened
i won't utter a word
i won't speak a syllabus
but know that.i still regard u as my sis
i will not be seen by u again
i will not heard by u again
i will not appear in front of u again.

2009-07-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

No longer know what i am
Exhasted from all these stuffs
really am tired
trying hard to pull it all through
i guess i am alone from now on
Not gona give up
wana thank my friends for being there
but for now i just believe is best that i am on my own
Don wish u all to get hurt as well
rather me alone get hurt then u guys
Move on without me
Don know what really i should do
not gona tear
not gona cry
got to buck up and stand on my own
believing in myself
having faith in myself
gona run
gona fly
gona soar
gona be my best
gona be what i wan to be
gona be what i dreamt of
So long people

2009-06-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

Finally i am back from camp.
Firstly,had Ncc annual camp.
two days 1 night
1st day
went there to slack and supervise
a lot of bad comments
i still wonder if really the sec 3 can make it
i have my doubts
then played soccer
then played basketball
leg cramp like siao
the muscle was super stiff even if i relaxed.
but carry on playing
then had field cooking...
then went to set up the dometries
the sec 3 was getting screwed badly.
chatted with gloria
go bath
go kpo on fazul and farel
then play basketball at 12am
went back to hall to sleep
fazul disturb me like siao
slepy at 2 or 3 am.(forget)
woke up at 4 am to go mac
waited till 6am then can go out
went to mac before going pulau ubin
damn pissed off again
fidarus don know to set the checkpoint
he don even know where he is.
so ride bike around and around
to think he is clever....
oh my god
finish checkpoints
just anyhow put
then went to have coconuts
then ride to the place to welcome them
then had lunch
they almost counted wrongly the packets for the lunch
went to the sofa
slept for two hours
woke up
everything seem so blur
only thing i know must go back sg
so followed...
we didn't know we have to pay for our transport fees
so i form $2.50 tigers clan with SIm as our boss
go back school.
then pop
YES!!!
can focus on my studies
no need go back ncc till o level finishes
went back online to chat
fell asleep while smsing
woke up at 7 to go school for combine UG
they were cooking maggie mee
then go for the camp
thought it will be fungot ice breaker games
keep guilaning:D
so fun
then never particpiate in scouts and SJAB activites
cause preparing for PDS
so i would like to apologise to SJAB about that
then after pds performance we taught them
now this is the climax of all
that cadet don know to teach them
talk like F*** so i helped him a bit
then i teach half way
then i got scolded by my sir
FIsh la!
then later i saw the scout girl sleep
DAMN PISS
first they engage in thier own stuffs
then never listen
then now sleep infront of me
i was damn damn damn damn DAMN pissed
so i bang the rifle and wake her up
i took 1 step back and smile
then i throw the rifle
and walk away.
people were stunned
lucky got jia xi and gang to cover up for me
then went back
swallowing my pride and explained to them
didn't bother much to teach them anymore
so i do my own things
guilan around again
then go teach SJAB
AT LEAST THEY WILLING TO LEARN!!!
that is what i liked about them
so enthu
Including Band also...HAHA!!!
at least the boys bridage never listen but know the steps
the scouts....
only two people willing to learn
what can i say
no disclipine enough,,,
haix...then after that got dinner...
no mood to eat
then eat a bit
start boys brigade's activites...
out of 6 of the seniors...
only i particpate sia!!!
i ran around the whole school!!! but i left with two suspects
but they wan it as a essaY!!!!!!!WTH!!!!
then forget it liao....waste my effort...
then got the performance...blah blah blah
then went home with gloria...waited like 20 mins plus
then my mum was in the bus
but i didn't realised it...
then go home now going to sleep..
BYE!

2009-06-20T22:56:00.000-07:00

Hey People....
as usual

went library...

studied...

buy lunch...

went home eat...

then sleep....

hahas...

but after which jio leona jie out for supper...

had so much fun with her:D

Let her use my phone to take photos:D

Love her the most...

always been there for me to cheer me up

Shes the best Jie i ever had

Thanks leona jie!!!:D<3>

2009-06-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

Wasted 1 week of my holiday liao....
left 1 week to chiong my A math..
Not forgetting other subject
monday-tuesday got NCC camp
Wed-sun chiong library to study like siao...

Just now went to library study...did a maths...1 qn
E math...4 Qn
Chemistry. 1 chapter...
i am so dead X.X
then watch "Drag me to hell"
AGAIN

kana scare again...
damn funny sia...
hang out at tiong park for a while
Emoed at the swing.
keep on thinking of the time when i was with her..
i trying really hard to forget her
but i just can't
but what can i do?

i guess now is time for me to study and do my best
Fear of going ITE
i really wan to make it to JC/POLY

i will not give up!!!
i will do my best!!!!

2009-06-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

Don know why i am still awake at this time.
Everybody is sleeping while i am still awake
Don't know what i should do.
Feel so lost.
been having sleepless nites
Kept thinking of her
Your that voice i hear inside my head.
Is reason for my existance
Your colourful smile,bring dazzling rainbow in my life.
But now that u are gone.all these goes with u
memorises with u are kept in my heart
what i am without u?
Once i was a lonely person.
blaming the whole world for everything
Ever since u came to my life.
Everything changes.
i was cheerful
happy.
everything was great
but now u had left.
i am back to what i am.
No longer motivated to do anything else
i really damn tired of stuffs around
Been thinking.
what is life?
what is my goals
what am i going to do in the future?
what is i can't make it to badminton association?
will i retain again?
I really don know to answer all these questions
i really feel like giving up
Love gives and takes strength away.
Should i continue fighting for what i love?
fight for what i ever dreamt?
i'm really confused
Spending my time blasting my music
Forgeting and forsaken the stuffs around me.
Really wan to continue pursuing my dreams
what do i really want of my life?
Now i am just like an aimless soul just studying for the sake of not disappointing the people that cares
I really don wish to get into love again.
All i wan is like any ordinary guy
Excel in what he strive.
Reach for his dreams.

2009-06-02T05:57:00.001-07:00

Got my results back.
flunk everything except math chinese and combine science
Went out with friends.
had great times with them
never fails to make me smile.
putting a lot of effort in my studies now
not gona give up
no matter how hard it is..
i guess now i am out of ur life isn't it?
guess he is better then me in every ways
i am just a failure.
thanks for being my sweetie anyways
i know lifes has to go on.
but i still feel without u something is missing in my life.
life isn't the same now
Gona focus on my studies.
Love is out of my reach now
Gona reach to my dreams and distinctions.
thanks for being there for me anyway.

2009-06-01T04:21:00.000-07:00

took o level chinese today.
paper 1 was alrite
paper 2 was easy
but because i was dumb,i don know to do paper 2
so i conclude i will fail the paper.haix
lost my wallet ytd
spent the whole night looking for it
i guess is was stolen by some MF.
Spent 2 hours and over $100 paying for this lesson that i had learnt
what can i say?is just my luck
seems to be losing my stuffs.
i even lost my paper for writing the testimonials.
trying very hard not to be upset with the things around.but i just can't help it
really need someone here with me
don't have the mood to hang out with the gang anymore
too tired for stuffs
really need u by my side
looking at u,walking around from me
fearing of facing u,only dare to talk to u by msn.
i really don know what to do now
i feel so lost.
shall updated what happened at sentosa some other time.
till here. Loving her every moment

2009-05-01T17:06:00.000-07:00

Acting dumb

Folding my hearts

trying to hide my face,unwilling to take photo:P

Bleh:P

Horsing around

talking some logical stuffs with monica

Went out with Gloria and monica to play badminton.
its was a bit bored cause very little people.
trying to get gloria to play but she don wan to.
so i aim all my shuttle at her.
then went to monica to slack
played monopoly.
i had the most houses.WAHAHAHA
then went with them to get thier class tee qns asked
wanted to help but it is labour day
shops didn't open.
saddd.

then we went to anchorpoint to have our lunch.

met a new friend

named jonnae

she quite nice person

i therefore conclude SOME sec 1 are cute.(some only)

then we went back to monica house to slack.

i feel kinda weird cause i am the only upper sec there.

but we played uno and gossip.

i was there to listen(hehe)

monica's brother was a nice guy...ALSO FROM NP...wooots

They trying to tie my hair. Was trying to fall asleep.

They we slack till 7:30 then we went off.

accompanied my dear mei home.haha

then came home emo.

Me and her can only be friends and nothing else.

so i guess i have to move on with life.

Now is total focus on my o levels

For the sake for my gans and friends that care

i will do u guys proud

especially to my mother

2009-04-27T07:02:00.001-07:00

Badminton training for myself starts from today...
Damn tired.
all i have in my mind is just being the best in badminton not in singapore but in the WOHLE WORLD!

2009-04-25T23:11:00.000-07:00

went for tuition ytd.suppose to have 2 lessons but only went for 1
cause we had to prepare for freddy's birthday
we went to takeshimaya to buy the things.
then we went to his condo to prepare everything.
also bought choya,cause xinying want to try the fruit inside.
so i drank 3/4 of the bottle then the rest the others shared.
freddy also bought royce.IT WAS SUPER NICE!!!!
i guess he spent a lot for his birthday
the condo that we went was super nice and super new.
freddy also went there once....
everyone came,we start preparing.
its was fun to cook the steak and salmon.
just anyhow add seasoning....
then we had lots of fun cooking
:D
but for the fact that that S just come see and block my way...Shole
we then all went down to serve everyone.
sang birthday song to him.
the cake was brought in
he was stunned.
then everyone took their share but there wasn;t enough
so i didn't eat,went to emo at the pool
i smsed her,she never reply to any of my msg:(
so had to chat with my godsister.
glenn went back up to cook for those haven taken their food.
then i ate the steak.it was nice.
then we played blind mice.
something SUPER funny happened...hehe
Han....haha
played true or dare.
we had lots of fun.
kiss and hug there.
secret being told.
everything was to kept within ourselves
Karmeng got whack on the head by the bottle due to fred
haha.I must say freddy has a good aiming.
there was the *konk* sound.haha
then ppl started to leave.
getting lesser.
but still carried on the game.
i merely said something wrong
and does he nid the F*** to make a F***ing big fuss abt it
shouted.sorry guys.
i can't blame freddy for inviting him,but he knows that he is F***ing hated but still come.
and for the fact that nobody wants him to be around
not to be evil,
but he was TRYING to mix around with us but only the good kind soul bothered abt him
somemore don act like u very popular but the fact is nobody like u.
when back to his house to clean up
feel like sleeping...
We went KBox after which.
Fred sang his lungs out till he had sore throat.
had lots of fun.
Thanks han for the taxi ride home
went home at 4:20
Slept at 4:41.
Got lots of hw undone...shit men...haha
any way HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRED!

2009-04-21T05:54:00.000-07:00

Today is Free Cone day!!!
Went to get 1 too with my friends
oh men 4C just rocks men.
little actions of theirs makes me feel that someone stil cares for me
oh god bless them:D
thats why action speaks louder then words
Was quite piss off today.
Cause thinking of her make me emo
then i was just giving a suggestion but i got shoot back...
WTF men...
then the same guy.
in bio class...cause ms prema asked why i keep long finger nails.
i am lazy to cut...
then he said i use it to dig nose...
WTF MEN!
DID I F****** OFFENED U?
i just stood up and point middle finger.
ms prema was STUNN!
i sat down she stared at me
i just pointed middle finger at that batard again
then ms prema was stunn again...
haix...then i just get on with normal life....
gona control my anger...almost flip the table...
ANGER MANAGEMENT IN PROGRESSS

flame of passion for badminton never burns out in me
no matter what i will get into the best badminton club and prove that i am 1 of the best

ALSO...

i still <3 hers!

2009-04-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

Had chem today.super fun
ms prema asked questions i just said i know i know(even though i really don know)
after the last questions.she took her stick and i ran out of the class....
haha
she couldn't whack me:P
tomorrow gona have her class again
WOOOTS
I HATE PHYSICS!
i don even understand a single shit out it...
shall not say anything about the teacher....
I miss u...every moment every minute every sec
i think of u all the time.
i really need u.
where are u??
saw u at the staircase.
did u realise i was infront of u?
Emo as i am,....
blasting my music..
doing pull ups
doing push ups
torturing myself.
both physically and mentally..
i wan to get out of this sch .
i wan to join badminton club
just focus totally on badminton.
is time that i forget her.
time that focus on training myself.
but i just can;t
i think of u everytime.
what i am without u?
i really need u sayang!

2009-04-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

I miss ur sweet smiles
I miss ur hug
i miss ur care
i miss walking with u home
i miss walking with u at HV
i miss playing the swing with u
i miss drinking green tea with u
i miss the times when i was u
i wish time will go back
i wish all these never happened
Guess we are just merely friends
thanks for letting me know what loves is
despite u leaving me
thanks for everything that u have done
sorry for throwing my temper at u
sorry for not being there for u
I still love u<3
though i had tried.just hope u will stay happy
i will be out of ur life from now on.

2009-04-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

I guess we are not meant to be together
no matter how hard i tried u still wouldn't accept
u will be thinking how i am a disappointment to u
how bastard i am
just like those asshole out there
but the fact is.
i really love u
i really do
but do u understand?
i not sure either cause i am not u
s ur chioce anyway.
i can't control cause i am nobody to u
i can't do anything eithe
i guess u are really disappointed in me
i guess u no longer trust me anymore
i guess u no longer wan to give me any chances anymore
i guess it is over
i guess we gona go our own separate ways.
i guess i am out of ur life
i guess i am not the right guy for u
i guess u have ur own dream i have mine
since u wan it this way, i respect ur decision.
good luck on finding the guy of ur dreams
guess i am not the 1.
guess there are much better guys other then out there
u are the second girl in my life whom i cried for other then my grandma's funreal
and i cry because i am sad,not i am weak
but still i do love u.<3
thats the only thing i wan u to know.
Good Luck and Farewell
i don know what will become of me.
i not sure if i am really able to make it throught.
i guess i just have to try my best.
for those that hve hopes on me.
just give it up.
is no use.
i am just another below average guy and sux in everything.
i just wan let it out!!!!
Being camping at home to emo.
anything just sms...freaky sian to talk in msn.

2009-04-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

I don know why am i blogging instead of studying...
guess this is the only way i can talk abt my feelings to...
Everyone changed....so have I
really tired of everything around
my stamina had dropped a lot
after she leaves me,
i don know what has been going on in my life.
not in the mood to do my work
Doing stuffs that not concerning my studies
i wonder how am i suppose to get my distinction
How am i suppose to prove myself to those who look down on me
how am i suppose to do my mum proud and not waste her effort on me
i really need a break from all these
From everything around
i am really stress and tense up.
i really need u
where are u?
I misses the times when i was with u
the walks around H****** V******
The swings that we sat together with our green tea,Emoing.
Walking u home,
Taking the same bus sitting beside u
I really don't know what i am without u
I don know what i have become
I feel like a freak now
Emo with my music.
Guess that is all i can do
Waiting for u to hold me in ur arms.
Waiting for u to pull me out of this misery.
Waiting for u to pull me up and get on with life.
I misses u badly...
My body is tearing up inside
really am tired...
Gona break down soon...
any moment....
Will u be there for me?
If i fall and faint?

2009-04-17T08:31:00.001-07:00

Had study camp today.
before that played badminton with the sec 1 and marvin.
didn't had the mood to play...IT IS SUPER HOT!
went opposite to buy food.
had study camp.
don know why everytime study camp i am fooking emo....
toook great courage to bring myself to sms her.
maybe she's still mad at me.
after study camp went to play catching with annabelle laypeng glenn suraj shawn marshall and zijian
super fun.but nobody came to catch me....am i really that fast???0.0
keep playing on the swing.missing the time when i was with her at the swing.
thinking of u making me miss u even more....
now at home le....going sleep...BYE!

2009-04-16T05:10:00.000-07:00

Hi!Haven been bloggin for a long time cause didn't had the mood to...
I really don't know what i am i doing...
After she was in my life,i felt like a new guy.
Now that she's left,i feel a emptiness in me
i really love u.
i really need u
but what can i do?
u are his,not mine.
Gona try to move on with life.
Lucky i got a nice mei like Gloria.
Always been there for me.
THANKS LITTLE MEI!
Feel so lost.
Let everydown around down.
Physics teacher regretted teaching us
I lack of the motivation to study
I lack of the energy to move on with life
I lack the concentration on my badminton dreams.
I really wish to give it all up,but i can't
Thought u were the 1 to be there for me.
Really feel so remorse.
Till here........

Testing ;D

2008-11-13T01:20:00.000-08:00

JJ here ;D
Just testing out. Hah.