Heart breaks.
What is life?
What is the point of living?
What is the point of studying,since all are relunctant?
Trying hard to study for the sake of my teachers now
Trying hard to get out of this school
Trying very hard to control my anger
In my heart,all i want is u to be by my side
I guess that is hard.
Going to learn to be dependent on myself
I hate late replies of smses without reasons
Going to make myself disappear.
Going to make myself study
Going to get my perfect scores.
Feeling so hurt
Feeling so sad
Feeling so depress
Feeling so heart broken.
I fcuking swear that all i wan is u to be by my side.
I let god decide for this
To see if u really will be by my side when i entering the crisis
To see if u really love me
To see if i really can make it out of this school with good scores into engineering

BADMINTON! 4:21 AM

Prelims are over!!!
Now is for the result
then the o levels...
time to study very very hard...
i know my results will be damn damn bad...
but no choice
i still ahve to study...
so i will rarely come to blog le...
just have to bottle up my fustration to myself then
Went to lan to play Left 4 dead
it was fun:D

Anyways...
Despite being so mad and fustrated.
I STILL HAVE TO CONTROL!
I Love You baby<3

BADMINTON! 7:48 AM

After a good night sleep
felt really better
guess i was too exhausted
Really think-ed alot last time
after so much thoughts
decided to let nature takes it course
Really realised i had learned a lot
in a relationship
u must give a lot
and except very little in return
u must be thick skinned
u mustn't be so sensitive
u mustn't get jealous easily
After so much.
i realised that i really love her
i really can't do without her
I promise i will change.
I will be a better guy

BADMINTON! 6:11 PM

Things has worsen
When to library to study.
it was raining.
didn't bothered,just walked in the rain
studied for few hours,
went back home to rot and emo
too tired for anything anymore
Got scolding for no reason again
just because of my sister
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS CLEVER?!
JUST BECAUSE SHE IS MUCH BETTER?!
WHY DO I GET ALL THE F**KING SCOLDINGS BUT NOT HER
HAPPENED SINCE YOUNG TILL NOW!
DAMN F***ING PISSED OFF



didn't went out with her
Wanted to date her out
but she went out with her good friend
i admit,i am quite jealous,since i didn't knew who was that guy
but i can't do anything as well
she has her freedom.i can't do anything much
chatted with her just now on msn
she left even before i could finish what i wan to say
reallly....don know what to say
For the very fact that i need u to be by my side
i need u badly
but,what can i say.
u wan me focus on o levels
u wan me focus on studies
but i just CAN'T
I CAN'T!
u said words that really hurt me
i really wan to make it out to be a badminton player
but u said how am i suppose to make it when i lose to calvin
u were right
i lose to him
but i also have my reason in losing
Badminton was like the best thing in my life
Losing to him already cause much agony
But u said those words
really hurts me even more
Really F***ing hate myself
why am i so weak?!
Althought had no friends.no family to be there for me
to be give the support
All i could was to depend on u
i really don know why
when u said those words
i was already very pissed off
but i just kept it to myself
i told myself to really control.
Really controlled
Sometimes the words u used and said to me really hurt my feelings
But i don dare to tell u for the very fact i fear that ur feelings really get hurts
i don want to be like ur Ex.
i really wan u to be happy
But i have no more place to vent my anger and sorrow on.
Everybody has their own problems
I guess now i only can depend on my blog to vent my furstation
really hopes things will be over soon
i don wan to dwell on this and affect my o levels
too afraid to fail
Really hope things will go well again between me and u.
Really missed the first two weeks of
that i spent with u..
i missed those times
I fear history would repeat itself
I have nightmares every single day
Really don wan to to lose u like what happened to My Ex-lover
i really don wish to lose u
i really love u deep in my heart
I guess the problem lies in me bah
I haven't been a very good boyfriend
Never really understand how u feel
i am sorry
Hope u will be back to me
U were the one that pull me out of the misery
i really love u with my life and the bottom of my heart vows for it


Thanks vasnavi for cheering me up
Thanks evelyn for cheering me up
Thanks ariel for being there for me when i am so down and bored
I guess i just need some time to cool down bah
Till here...bye
Only can be contacted through moble phone
Only will attend to serious matter


Really hope the situation will be turned around
Really hope things will change
U had already become a part of me

BADMINTON! 9:37 AM

Prelims have yet to end.
Been struggling these few days
i am sorry ms prema
i didn't know to do chem:'(
Believe a not, today is the last day i will be online
i really want to ace my o levels
is a promise i made for her
and i don break promises

Jiaxin-no matter what happens,i love u with everything i had
i promised that i will ace my o levels for you and i will fulfuil it
i don know will u still be there after my o levels but still,
i love u more then i ever did to the girls of the past
Just hope u would stay,Just hope u would still be there
But is still ur decision.
Whatever happens,i will still love u with my life
Hope u will catch me when i fall
Hope u will hold my tight in ur arms when i need the support
You are the first girl that really taught me a lot of things
I also don't have any words to describe the feelings i had now
The words u said pierce through my heart,but i know is for my own good
i admitted i was quite jealous when he msged u
that is also because i fear losing u
i don wish history to repeat itself,like what happened to her
really don wan to lose u
But still...I don know what to say either.
The only thing i can say is
I L<3ve You
Gloria mei-sorry little girl,wasn't be there for u
korkor have to study
so u better behave while i am gone
or i will punish u when i am back:P
Freddy-I will not break the promise that i made for ms phang, u and Jiaxin
i promise i will control my anger
i will never forget that.
Cartoon(vasinavi)-Thanks for always being there for me
thanks for cheering me up
Thanks for ur support
I will study hard and win ur "goood Arsehole friend":D
U too must study hard!
Evelyn sis-Thanks for jioing me out to study.
Leona Jie-i promise i will do my best for o levels!

This would be the last time i will be online.
Going to study for O levels
Going back to being emo
Take care people
Study hard

BADMINTON! 7:37 AM

Happy 1st month dear<3
thanks for memories that we have together
always be loving u
promise i will ace my o levels
sorry i can't offer u anything at this point of time
but i promise after my o levels,
everything will be different
Love ya<3

BADMINTON! 4:01 AM